The Wisdom of Greg by Susan and Bill Van Oije - Surrender, But Don't Give Up

Written by Susan Van Oije with Bill and Greg
Bill is just an ordinary guy who has had extraordinary things happen to him since the passing of his son Greg. Susan writes it all down. The Calgary, Canada affiliate leaders are on an amazing journey with their son.

SURRENDER - BUT DON'T GIVE UP

So often, when a beloved child passes, parents are engulfed in a tidal wave of grief, regret, sadness and heartache. The suffering often retreats with time, but for some, huge and exhausting waves of sorrow can last a lifetime.

As counter-intuitive as it sounds, our son Greg has told us there is an incredibly powerful choice you can make to free yourself from the tight grip of grief: Surrender. And he very strongly emphasizes that surrender does not mean giving up. It means reaching a point of acceptance for what is.

You may believe that if you surrender, you are powerless, but Greg explains the exact opposite is actually true. My husband Bill experienced this Universal truth after Greg passed 10 1/2 years ago at age 27 from the effects of substance use. A man who had spent 60 years maintaining absolute control over his life through sheer self-will was brought to his knees on the night Greg passed, finally admitting he was powerless to deal with his son's death alone. He got down on his knees and prayed to God, "Help me. Help me please."

We now know that act of surrender is what opened the floodgates to the miracles that followed. Bill discovered shortly after his surrender that he could hear Greg talk to him, see his aura, and interact with him in extremely vivid dreams.

"You surrendered and dropped your defenses so you could receive Source energy from the Creator," Greg explained to his Dad several years after he passed, "and with that, all the miracles contained in that energy."

Greg says another way to describe the key that unlocks the door to acceptance and peace is "Let go and let God," which is one of the fundamental principles of the 12-step program Bill followed and introduced to Greg.

Surrendering self-will - your ego that's telling you that you can gut this out alone - is what gives our Source the room to work miracles in our lives.

Greg has explained to his Dad that the purpose of his team of guides and angels is "to help you navigate your journey while incarnated on Earth. I am here to help. We are all here to help. It is not easy to leave our realm and materialize physically in a different dimension with new operating rules. The first thing to learn is to surrender to the will of the Universe, your Source.

"Many attempts will be made by souls to accomplish this," Greg continued. "Surrender allows you to be guided through your daily activities without the response of self will. Self-will causes one to deal with the challenges in this quest, creating karma that steers you off path and off alignment with the Source's intentions for you. Surrender allows your guides and angels to provide guidance and synchronicities to form your actions."

If you choose to, and it is most definitely a choice, you can stop swimming upstream and fighting the current. You can let go, surrender to the flow, and release what is not serving you. Hand your sadness and pain over to God.

Greg tells us again and again to have faith, trust and believe that all is as it should be, and trust that the Divine's plan for us is far greater and glorious than we can currently comprehend. Even the incomprehensible challenges are part of a larger picture guiding us to growth and transformation.

"No one ever said it would be easy," Greg has told us, "but the greatest gifts are the ones we can endure, move through acceptance and then surrender to the will of God, for you may not understand why now, but you will look back and be grateful for all you currently find in your present moment."

The hardships of life and the surrender to and acceptance of those hardships with the help of our Source, Greg says, can lead to learning, peace and gratitude. Yes, gratitude. It may seem incredibly unlikely that a parent who has experienced the transition of a beloved child would ever feel any sort of gratitude after enduring that hardship. But it is possible, and we'll explore what many call "collateral beauty" in next month's column.

If you want to hear more about our amazing experiences, Bill and I have twice spoken to HPH and the videos are available on the HPH YouTube channel: click here HPH welcomed Susan & Bill Van Oije, 'From Wow to How!'  for our video detailing the beautiful messages Greg gives us about how to live our best life in this very challenging place and grow our souls, and click here On February 3rd, Bill Van Oije spoke to Helping Parents Heal for the video in which Bill shares some of the astounding signs we've received from our son.