The Wisdom of Greg - It's The Most Challenging Time of the Year - But It Doesn't Have To Be...

Written by Susan Van Oije with Bill and Greg

IT'S THE MOST CHALLENGING TIME OF THE YEAR - BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE...

With the popular holiday song 'It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year' ringing in our ears, many Shining Light Parents find this is in fact the most challenging time of the year. 

Whether your holiday season includes Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, parents who have had a child transition often find this time of year very difficult and approach it with dread.

The physical absence of our children is more keenly felt as we remember past celebrations. It can be especially challenging when you have other children who look forward to this time of year, and you feel like you're letting them down. 

This holiday season, our children in spirit have a gift for us, if you choose to receive it: The gift of knowing that they want us to celebrate. They see our light, and when we bring some joy into our lives, they see our light grow brighter. They rejoice as we break free from the darkness.

You can accept their gift at the pace you're comfortable with, and you can start small and see where that takes you. Set a place at the holiday table for your child, light a candle in their memory, or buy a gift you know they love and donate it in their name. Every light and every shiny bauble is in honor of them, but don't do it for their sake, do it for yours. 

Our son Greg is a big Star Wars fan, and we have a Yoda and other meaningful decorations on our Christmas tree for him. We know he sees us place them there, and we know he hears us talking about our holiday memories of him, especially his love of a huge mound of mashed potatoes and gravy for Christmas dinner!  

Since Bill was a child, his favorite Christmas movie has been the 1951 version of 'A Christmas Carol' starring Alastair Sim and written by Charles Dickens. He gets emotional every time he watches it, and is so moved by the story of Scrooge's redemption. "I get more and more out of the story every year because I'm changing. I'm seeing it with wider eyes every time."

There's no doubt that Dickens was downloaded this beautiful, timeless story so its hopeful message could be shared with the world for many, many years to come. Amazingly, it was published 181 years ago in 1843. The writing still grabs at the heart and speaks to so many Shining Light Parents.

Here's the scene in the movie  where the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows Scrooge his overworked and underpaid clerk Bob Cratchit walk into his home and greeted by his wife and children, without his son Tiny Tim, who just passed from an illness. He says to his wife, who is concerned about him:

"No, no, I'm very content my dear, very content. I went to see the place where he will rest. It's sheltered by green trees, my dear, and very quiet and still. It was strange but as I stood there I felt his hand slip in mine as if he was standing beside me and comforting me. I felt very peaceful my dear. He was telling me, you see, in his own little way that he is happy. Truly happy now, and that we must cease to grieve for him and try to be happy too." He then breaks down and says, "Oh Tim, my Tiny Tim."

Tiny Tim's family miss him terribly, but they know he's happy and they must try to be happy too. This is exactly what our son has been telling us for years through his Dad who channels him: To find happiness and joy in life again despite his physical absence.

Greg has told us this: "Being happy and joyful. It is what matters, no matter your circumstances. You must believe that no matter what occurs you will be okay. Trust us when we tell you that you have nothing to fear except fear itself. Do what makes you feel good. Being miserable is not why you came here. To practice the opposite is true. You are here on the Earthly plane, so make the most of it, and enjoy yourself.

"There are struggles you endure, and losing a child is no small setback. But to fulfill your reason as to why you came to Earth, you must find the good and positive in what has happened to you in order to carry on and be in alignment with God, our loving Source. Everything is a lesson, no matter how hard, and your goal is to find the joy and peace in all your challenges and achieve happiness. Being able to do that, you will have learned the lessons for being on Earth. To find love, peace, joy and happiness no matter what. Hard, yes, but it is what you came here to learn."

Will your holiday celebrations be the same as they were? No. But in our new role as Shining Light Parents we we can shine a bit more light into our life and the lives of others, especially at this time of year, with the help of our amazing children on the other side. 

If you want to hear more about our amazing experiences, Bill and I have twice spoken to HPH and the videos are available on the HPH YouTube channel: click here HPH welcomed Susan & Bill Van Oije, 'From Wow to How!'  for our most recent video detailing the beautiful messages Greg gives us about how to live our best life in this very challenging place and grow our souls, and click here On February 3rd, Bill Van Oije spoke to Helping Parents Heal  for the video in which Bill shares some of the astounding signs we've received from our son. 

Bill is just an ordinary guy who has had extraordinary things happen to him since the passing of his son Greg. Susan writes it all down. The Calgary, Canada affiliate leaders are on an amazing journey with their son.